Each month it’s “I can’t believe it’s…” but this time, I mean it! The school year is almost over and summer is upon us.

For June I’ve selected the book Growing Up Social: Raising Relational Kids in a Screen-Driven World. It’s written by Gary Chapman (of 5 love languages fame) and Arlene Pellicane, who wrote Screen Kids and whose children are featured in the documentary Screen Kids: In Their Own Words.

This book was written in 2014, but it doesn’t feel outdated. If anything, it feels even more relevant, especially reading it from the other side of a global pandemic that took screens and their place in our lives to another level.

The reality was we needed them in order to work, go to school, play with our friends, connect with family. In the years since this book was released, there’s also been time to conduct more research about the changes our devices and screens have wrought on children and adults alike.

You don’t have to be a parent or a youth or children’s worker in order to learn from this book. The fact is that all of us have been affected by our screens, whether it’s in how we deal with difficult emotions or boredom or awkwardness, what we consider entertainment and fun, and how we relate to people and view relationships. I think that the “A+ skills” of Affection, Appreciation, Anger Management, Apology, and Attention are useful for each of us to grow in, no matter how old we are! As someone who interacts with children and youth a lot, I’ve seen the effects growing up in the years of the pandemic have had in particular, and this book was helpful in thinking about what kind of skills and values I am instilling into our next generation.

The authors are realistic and offer hope that we can start wherever we are at to make positive changes that will be beneficial for our children, teens, and ourselves, and enrich our relationships with one another, in our families and communities. One thing I kept thinking while reading this book was that it would be difficult for parents who are trying to do this on their own, but thankful that in our community, we could support one another in our efforts to implement some of the relationship-prioritizing principles in the book, by doing it together!